Stories
Cappuccinos & Crime
As Tom walked into the coffee shop that the “Villains Only” dating app suggested, he spotted the hammer-striking-the-globe symbol of the International Villains League by the door. The front waiting area was small, cramped, and as uninviting as possible. Tom knew this helped to keep the civilians away. The IVL would also seed Yelp and Google Maps with terrible reviews to make sure no one that wasn’t in the league would show up.
Gyotaku
My father papered the walls of his studio in crisp white washi, covered in schools of Gyotaku: ink prints of fish he’d caught throughout his career. I probe the paper like I’m noodling for a bite until I fumble on the light switch. The LEDs mimic natural light–my father would accept no less. He demanded his works be displayed bathed in sunlight. They usually are, I suppose, though an overpriced sushi restaurant or a software developer’s beach house probably isn’t what he had in mind. In the last month, all those pieces have been resold for ten times the original price. Even these walls are likely worth hundreds of thousands, now. My father was a much better businessman than I thought, if it’s true what they all say. If he meant to die.
Nepo Baby
Nepo Baby can’t find her sunglasses. She’s driving to an audition, swerving down the 101 in her brand new Bentley, which her father bought her last week. It’s golden hour, selfie hour. This is her favorite hour. It turns her moss-green eyes into an evergreen world. It means more likes, which means more engagement, which means more sponsors.